Private Dancer Media Network

This week was a booking at a Pony Club in Poplar Bluff, Missouri. Since we work the weekends our actual “weekend” ends up being Sunday-Monday. Sunday or Monday (or both) end up being driving days and days to catch up on computer work. However, this Monday I needed to make a deposit and I learned that my “nationwide” bank has no branches within several states of where I was working. Thus, the adventure began.

My branch locator found nothing within a fifty-mile radius. I called the bank, which informed me that, “…some Walgreens have ATM’s and those ATM’s accept deposits.” I called the Walgreens, and after going through two employees and one manager, I learned that “no” they had no idea what I was talking about.

I made a second phone call to the bank and was now speaking with someone who had to repeat everything twice to me because I could not understand him. Love the direction banks have taken. We went through a checklist of nearby major cities. Not only did my bank not have a location in Memphis, they had no locations in the whole state of Tennessee… or Missouri… or Arkansas. They did, however have a location in Illinois. I felt hopeful for the first time in the whole conversation. “Yes, ma’am we have a branch in Chicago.” Obviously the gentleman I was talking to was unfamiliar with geography and I informed him that Chicago was about 400 miles one-way.

Finally, we found a location within 150 miles in a nowhere town out in the middle of Kentucky, which is exactly where I want to be on my “day off.” The road to get there was a lonely two-lane road with semis on it, so I knew there was not a better road to the bank or else the semis would be there. The roads were so narrow one vehicle had to move over to let the other pass. So boys and girls, the moral of the story is banks lie. As soon as I get to a real city, I am changing banks.

The week at Poplar Bluff went better than the bank fiasco, starting with an addition to our radio credits with L.A. Talk Radio’s Inside the Industry Radio with James Bartholet. Our radio count last week was three weekly combined with our visit to the local radio studio 95.5 The Bone. We took over and Tony even became a part of the staff. He worked the reception desk at the front. Doesn’t he look like a greeter? Chris, the D.J., was very cool and ran the interview very smoothly. It’s a trip to listen to the calls that he gets in between air-time.

We were in East Cape the week before and they had about ten restaurants for every one person there, then we went to Poplar Bluff where it was Dairy Queen, Dominoes and Coltons. We settled on Subway and I learned that, although Subway is quick, easy and inexpensive, you can get burned out on it real quick. If I see another Subway after this tour, or hear that ‘five dollar foot long’ song again, I may just explode.

This week the club was about fifteen miles away from the hotel. As we drove to the club, the road got smaller and darker. Suddenly through the trees, the pink neon emerged and there stood The Pony in a building the size of a movie theatre. The club used to be a wildlife museum, which explains the after hours club inside appropriately named The Wild Side. One half of the club is the topless side and then at that magical hour when the government decides you are done drinking, the crowd gets up, walks about thirty feet, pays a cover and enters the all-nude, all-night Wild Side. Maybe it was because we left the club so late, but at night there seemed to be a lot of road kill. I counted about five dead animals on the way back to the hotel on the first night.

In East Cape the week before, we had the Olympic training facility to work out in, but this week it was back to the hotel treadmills and in room leg weights. The hotel was decent, but running on a treadmill gets so mundane so we went to look for another way to work out and found the junior high track. It was so much fun to be on the spongy surface and remember when I was in high school when I used to run hurdles. By the time Friday hits, your body is pretty tired so I was just trying to make it through. I kept playing a game with myself so I wouldn’t quit. “Okay just make it to the curve, then you can stop. Okay now just make it to the other end of the bleachers, then you can stop. Okay just make it to the…” It’s like Yoda says, “There is no try. Only do or do not.”

We have been in small towns for the past few weeks, but next week we will be at Blush in Pittsburgh. I like this gig simply for the fact that Albert puts the features in a sweet hotel and which has an awesome workout facility. There is both good and bad when going from rural to urban. I will be able to find all the creature comforts, but I have to pay $25 per day to park my car at the hotel where Albert is paying for a room. Ah, the cost of a major downtown city.

Schevelle is an award-winning feature entertainer and a Private Dancer Magazine cover model for November 2007. She contributes regularly to the Private Dancer Media Network as well as Private Dancer Magazine. You can find more on Schevelle by going to www.Schevelle.com/ or follow her on twitter at www.twitter.com/TheSchevelle.